just tell him i said nine months
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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