i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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