Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
