i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
