don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
