Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
