We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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