you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
