I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
