i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
soo... how was my night?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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