I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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