She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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