we're blogging at a bar
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Randomize
