put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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