How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize