I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
