Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
