I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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