I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I've blown a few things in my day
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
