it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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