Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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