ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
