Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
