we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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