Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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