No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
