Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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