I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
