i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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