Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
