Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
