3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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