im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize