After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
