Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
