dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We need to rekindle our bromance
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
