would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
