totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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