All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
