he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
someone owes me an orgasm
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
