When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
not ubering you a puppy
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