Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Randomize
