No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
