6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
