its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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