physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
