When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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