I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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