there was a trapeze. enough said
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
