I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize