he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
