My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
