Don't you send me to vm
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
