I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
