In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
