My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
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