What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
