This girl is more easily done than said...
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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