I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
