The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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