I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
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