someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
