the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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