You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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