i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
