brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize