I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
