I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
