I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
