What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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