I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
