he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
